adult | Romantic Shayari - Sad Shayari - Best Sher-o-Shayari

Batao Meri Panty Mein Kyaa Hai?

Monday, January 24, 2011 · Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Santa Ne Badi Mushkil Se Ek Ladki Dhundi Aur Girl Friend Bana Li
Ek Din Dono Ka Mood Bana Ki Sex Karte Hai To Santa Ne Hotel Mein Room Book Kara Liyo

Dono Bed Pe Bethe Thhe To Ladki Ne Bade Hi Erotic Mood Mein Santa Ko Kaha
Ladki: “Batao Meri Panty Mein Kyaa Hai?”
Santa Ne Kuch Der Socha Aur Fir Confidence Se Bola
Santa: “Elastic Hi Hogaa, Aaj-Kal Naade Waali Kaun Pehntaa Hai.“

Main High Court Ka Judge Hun Aapko Koi Pareshani Nahi Hogi.

· Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Ek High Court Ka Judge Kahi Ja Raha Tha Ki Jungle Ke Raste Meun Uski Car Kharab Ho Gayi
Door Tak Nazar Daudayi To Ek Jagah Bulb Jalta Dikhai Diya, Judge Raat Wahi Gujarne Ke Irade Se Udhar Chal Pada
Knock Kiya To Andar Se Aurat Ki Aawaz Aay: “Kaun Hai?”
Judge: “Main High Court Ka Judge Hun, Meri Car Kharab Ho Gayi Hai So Main Raat Gujarna Chahta Hun Yaha”
Darwaja Khula Aur Saamne Ek Sexy Aurat Khadi Thhi
Aurat: “Mere Paas Ek Hi Room Hai Aur Bed Bhi Ek Hai”
Judge: “Aap Chinta Na Kare Main High Court Ka Judge Hun Aapko Koi Pareshani Nahi Hogi.”
Dono Jab Sone Ke Liye Bistar Par Pahunche To
Aurat: “Mujhe Sirf Bra Aur Painty Mein Sone Ki Aadat Hai?”
Judge: “Aap Jaise Chahe Soye, Main High Court Ka Judge Hun Aapko Koi Pareshani Nahi Hogi.”
Aurat Ne Sare Kapde Utare Aur Bra And Panty Mein Let Gayi Aur Thodi Der Baad Boli
Aurat: “Mujhe Saath Mein Lete Insaan Se Lagg Ke Aur Uske Uper Taang Rakh Ke Sone Ki Adat Hai”
Judge: “Madam Aap Jaise Marji Soiye Mujhe Koi Problame Nahi Main High Cort Ka Judge Hun.”
Raat Gujar Gaye Subah Judge Sahab Bahar Baithe Chai Pee Rahe The To Unhone Dekha Ki Us Aurat Ne 2 Murge Aur 10 Murgiya Paal Rakhi Thi
Jinme Se Ek Murga Jo Langda Tha, Wo Sab Murgiyo Ke Piche Bhag Raha Tha Aur Dusra Ek Murga Chupchap Baitha Tha
Judge Se Ye Dekh Kar Raha Nahi Gaya
Judge: “Ye Dusra Murga Chupchap Baitha Hai.. Kya Ye Bimar Hai?”
Aurat: “Nahi …. Ye High Cort Ka Judge Hai“

Priceless Smile Ka Example

· Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Baba Saxidas Ek Din Mast Mood Mein Bethe Thhe To Unke Ek Ashiq Mijaj Bhakt Ne Pucha
Bhakt: “Baba Ji, Log Kahte Hai Ki Smile Priceless Hoti Hai, Iska Koi Example Dijiye Na”
Baba Saxidas: “Dekh Bachha, Is Baat Ko Ese Samajh”

Apni Girl Friend Ke Sath Tu Movie Dekhne Gaya Aur 500 Ki Tickets Li
Fir Uske Saath Sara Din Car Pe Ghuma Aur 700 Ka Petrol Uda Diya
Dir Usko 5 Star Hotel Mein Le Gaya Aur Pahle 500 Rs Ki Coffe Pee Aur Fir 2000 Rs Ka Dinner Kiya.
Aur Usi Hotel Ke Bade Ache Se Room Jiska Rent 5000 Rs Hai Uske Ander Le Gaya.
Aur Girlfriend Ko Bed Pe Lita Ke Jaisi Hi Uski Jeans Khone Laga To Girlfriend Bole: “Nahi Jaanu Aaj Mere Periods Hai”
Us Time Tu Usko Muskura Ke Dikhayega Aur Jo Tere Chehre Pe Muskaan Hogi Vo Priceless Hi Hogi

Ladki Ne Kitna Lunn Liya

· Posted in adult, Adult Joke

According To A Survey By William Sexfear
Agar Kisi Larki Ki 19 Sal Ki Umar Mein Shadi Ho,
Aur Uske Ghar Wale Ka Lund 7.5 Inch Ho,
Aur Woh Haftey Mein 3 Bar Sex Kare Aur 1 Bar Mein 50 Gassey (In-Out) Maare,
To Us Larki Ne 35 Sal Ki Umar Tak 22 Kilometer Lun Liya.
7.5 Inch x 50 Gassey x 3 Din x 4 Hafte x 12 Months x 16 Saal = 864000 Inch (22 Kms)

Duniya Gol Hai

· Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Teacher Class Mein Bachho Ko Samjha Rahi Thhi
Teacher: “Bachho Ye Duniya Gol Hai”
Ye Baat Sun Ke Pappu Ne Hath Khada Kiya, Teacher Ne Pucha Bolo Kya Kahna Chahte Ho
Pappu: “Madam Ji, Aap Kahti Hai To Man Leta Hun, Warna Daddy To Kahte Hai Ki Duniya Madharchod Hai“

Santa Aur Tasty Samosa

Tuesday, January 18, 2011 · Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Santa Road Par Chalte Hue Kuch, Gira Dekh Kar Ruka, Aur Utha Kar Mauh Me Daala.
Phir Thoda Soch Ke Bola

Santa: “Behan Ka Loude, Harami Log Tatti Bhi Ese Karte Hai, Mano Samosa Pada Ho.“

Alag Desh Alag Soch, Par India Is On Top

· Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Jab Kisi Ka Accident Ho Jata Hai To Alag Alag Desh Main Log Kis Terha Xpression Dete Hai
U.S.A.: “Oh My God!”
Pakistan: “Ya Allah!”

Africa: “O La La!”
Australia: “Got A Hit!”
Aur
India: “Maa Chud Gayi Behan Ke Lode Ki Aur Chala Tez“

Daddy Aap To Chutiya Ho

· Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Pappu Santa Se: “Daddy Aap To Chutiya Ho”
Santa Hairani Se: “Kye Be?”

Pappu: “Aaj Jab Aap Bahar Gaye Thhe To Mummy Uncle Se Kah Rahi Thhi Ki Jaldi Karo Wo Chutiya Aane Wala Hai“

Pappu Ka Gussa

· Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Pappu Bahut Sari Chocolate Kha Raha Tha, Tabhi Ek Aadmi Use Salah Deta Hai
Aadmi: “Beta, Itni Chocolate Nahi Khate, Theek Nahi Hoti!!”
Pappu: “Ek Baat Bolu, Mere Dada 105 Saal Ke Hai”
Aadmi: “Achha!!, Kya Wo Bahut Chocolate Khate Hai?”
Beccha:”Nahi”
Aadmi: “To, Phir?”
Pappu: “Behan Ke Lode, Wo Apne Kaam Se Kaam Rakhte Hai, Teri Tarha Bakchodi Nahi Karte“

Kalyugi Bahu Ka Jawab

· Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Ek Saas Apni Bahu Se Puchti Hai
Saas: “Bahu Bura Mat Manna Lekin Mere Pote Ki Shakal Mere Bete Se Nahi Milti”

Bahu Gusse Mein: “Maa Ji Meri Taango K Beech Me Choot Hai Koi Photocopy Machine Nahi Lagi.“

Wah Re Beta, Tauba Re Baap

· Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Pappu: “Papa 1000 Rupye Do Na”
Santa: “Bhag Yahan Se Nahi Hai”
Pappu: “Madarchod Phir Paida Kyo Kiya Tha”

Santa: “Bhonsdi Ke, Ab Konsi Teri Maa Ki Choot Band Ho Gayi Hai, Wapis Chala Ja“

Teacher Ki Ijjat Dil se

· Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Class Mein Techer Ne Bachho Ko Kaha Ki Apne Teacher Ke Uper English Mein 10 Lines Likho
Kuch Der Baad Pappu Khada Hua Aur Teacher Se Puchta Hai
“Sir, Haramkhor Ko English Mein Kya Kahte Hai?“

Ladki Ko Batane Ka Tarika

· Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Santa Apne Bete Pappu Se Bola
Santa: “Agar Apni Girlfriend Se Pehli Mulakat Mein Agar Tukko Su-Su Jana Ho To Kya Kahega?”

Pappu: “Daddy Bolunga Ke Ek Special Dost Se Haath Milane Ja Raha Hu, Jisse Teri Mulakaat Bahut Hi Jaldi Karwanunga Aur Tu Us Se Milkar Bahut Khush Hogi“

Santa Ki Sharat

· Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Jab Santa Fauj Mein Thha To Usko Shart Laganey Ki Aadat Thi Aur Sabhi Us Se Pareshan Theh.
Ek Din Vo Major Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola
Santa: “Sir Ye Meri Aakhri Shart Hai, Aur Vo Mein Aapke Sath Lagana Chahta Hun.”
Major Khushi Khusi Raaji Ho Gaya, Aur Bola: “Bolo Kya Shart Hai?”

Santa: “Apko Bawaseer Hai”
Major: “Main Sharat Lagata Hun Ke Nahi Hai”
Santa: “Main Ungli Dal Ke Check Karunga”
Major Khush Ho Gaya Aur Dono Mein 5 Hazar Ki Shart Lag Gai.
Santa Ne Major Ki Gaand Mein Ungli Dal Di
Tabhi Bahar Se Jor Jor Se Rone Ki Awaje Aane Lagi
Major Pant Pehan Kar Bahar Gaya Aur Poocha: “Kya Hua?”
Staff: “Isne Humse 50,000 Ki Shart Lagayi Thi Ki Major Ki Gaand Me Ungli Daal Ke Dikhaunga!“

Bada Hi Mushkil Kam Ladkiyo Ke Liye

Thursday, January 13, 2011 · Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Class Mein Teacher Bachho Se Puchti Hai
Teacher: “Aisa Konsa Kam Hai To 5 Ladke To Ek Saath Kar Sakte Hai Par 5 Ladkiya Kabhi Nahi Kar Sakti”
Kisi Ko Jawab Na Aya, Tabi Achanak Bachho Ke Bich Mein Se Ek Chota Sa Haath Khada Hua, Ye Haath Tha Santa Ke Bete Pappu Ka

Pappu: “Madam Ji Main Batau”
Madam: “Batao?”
Pappu: “Madam Ji, Vo Kam Hai – Ek Hi Balti Mein Mutar Visarjan“

Bar Girl Ka Dance

· Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Bar Girl Dancing, Public Claping
.
She Removes Her Top, More Claps
.
Removes Her Skirt, Louder Claps
.
Removes Her Bra N Panty, Total Silence ????
.
Moral : You Cant Clap With 1 Hand (Kyunki Ek Hath Se Kabhi Tali Nahi Bajti)

Pappu Aur Ladki Ki Bahas Mutra Visarjan Par

· Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Jaisi Ki Kal Pappu Ne Teacher Ke Question Ka Answer Diya, Jo Kaam 5 Ladke Kar Sakte Hai Vo 5 Ladkiya Nahi Kar Sakti
To Class Mein Bethi Ladkiyo Mein Hadkamp Machh Gaya

Ek Ladki Uth Ke Madam Se Boli
Ladki: “Mam Pappu Ne Sahi Kaha, Par Baki To Hum Ladkiya Sab Kuchh Kar Sakti Hai”
Pappu Fatafatt Bola: “Hum Ladke Mutra Visrjan Ke Saath Saath Samne Vali Diwar Per “O” (Zero) Ya Koi Bhi Letter Likh Sakte Hai, Kya Tum Esa Kar Sakti Ho“

Letter To University Dean

· Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Hello, Haramzade,
Yeh Bata Kaun Haramkhor Paper Set Karta Hai? Kamino, Students Ki Jaan Nikal Jati Hai.
Upar Se Kutte Paper Checking To Aise Karte Hai Jaise Apni Behan Ke Rape Ka Badla Le Rahe Ho.
Aisa Sylbus Banaya Hai Jaise Tumhare Yaha To Haramkhor Sab Topper Hi Janme Hai.
Tera Baap Bhi Aise Paper Mein Pass Nahi Ho Sakta.
Tu Khud Is Paper Mein 10 Bar Fail Hua Hoga. Tu Kabhi Bahar Mil Sale Maa Chod Dunga Teri
Your Faithfully,
(Pagal Hu Jo Apna Naam Likhunga, Chal Apni Maa Chuda)

Santa Aur Train Ka Reservation Part 2

· Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Next Day Santa Ki Biwi Use Fir Reservation Karvane Jabardasti Bhejti Hai, Kyunki Vo Bus Mein Suffer Nahi Kar Sakti Thhi.
Santa Bechara Majboor Hota Hai, Par Aaj Vo Jent Clerk Ke Pass Jata Hai.
Clerk: “Aapka Shubh Naam?”
Santa: “Ji Santa”
Clerk: “Age?”
Santa: “22”
Clerk: “Sex?”
Santa : “Hafte Mein 3 Baar”
Clerk Gabra Ke: “Nahi Nahi, Mera Matlab Male Ya Female?”
Santa: “Ji, Jo Bhi Fass Jaye, Kabhi Kabhi To Gali Ki Kutti Se Bhi“

Duniya Mein Sabse Mushkil Job Kiski Hai?

· Posted in adult, Adult Joke

Class Mein Teacher Bachho Se Puchti Hai
Teacher: “Agar Sincerely Ki Jaye To Is Duniya Mein Sabse Mushkil Job Kiski Hai?”
Pappu: “Madam Ji, Blue Film Ke Cameraman Ki“