Santa Road Par Chalte Hue Kuch, Gira Dekh Kar Ruka, Aur Utha Kar Mauh Me Daala.
Phir Thoda Soch Ke Bola
Santa: “Behan Ka Loude, Harami Log Tatti Bhi Ese Karte Hai, Mano Samosa Pada Ho.“
Jab Kisi Ka Accident Ho Jata Hai To Alag Alag Desh Main Log Kis Terha Xpression Dete Hai
U.S.A.: “Oh My God!”
Pakistan: “Ya Allah!”
Africa: “O La La!”
Australia: “Got A Hit!”
Aur
India: “Maa Chud Gayi Behan Ke Lode Ki Aur Chala Tez“
Pappu Santa Se: “Daddy Aap To Chutiya Ho”
Santa Hairani Se: “Kye Be?”
Pappu: “Aaj Jab Aap Bahar Gaye Thhe To Mummy Uncle Se Kah Rahi Thhi Ki Jaldi Karo Wo Chutiya Aane Wala Hai“
Pappu Bahut Sari Chocolate Kha Raha Tha, Tabhi Ek Aadmi Use Salah Deta Hai
Aadmi: “Beta, Itni Chocolate Nahi Khate, Theek Nahi Hoti!!”
Pappu: “Ek Baat Bolu, Mere Dada 105 Saal Ke Hai”
Aadmi: “Achha!!, Kya Wo Bahut Chocolate Khate Hai?”
Beccha:”Nahi”
Aadmi: “To, Phir?”
Pappu: “Behan Ke Lode, Wo Apne Kaam Se Kaam Rakhte Hai, Teri Tarha Bakchodi Nahi Karte“
Ek Saas Apni Bahu Se Puchti Hai
Saas: “Bahu Bura Mat Manna Lekin Mere Pote Ki Shakal Mere Bete Se Nahi Milti”
Bahu Gusse Mein: “Maa Ji Meri Taango K Beech Me Choot Hai Koi Photocopy Machine Nahi Lagi.“
Pappu: “Papa 1000 Rupye Do Na”
Santa: “Bhag Yahan Se Nahi Hai”
Pappu: “Madarchod Phir Paida Kyo Kiya Tha”
Santa: “Bhonsdi Ke, Ab Konsi Teri Maa Ki Choot Band Ho Gayi Hai, Wapis Chala Ja“
Class Mein Techer Ne Bachho Ko Kaha Ki Apne Teacher Ke Uper English Mein 10 Lines Likho
Kuch Der Baad Pappu Khada Hua Aur Teacher Se Puchta Hai
“Sir, Haramkhor Ko English Mein Kya Kahte Hai?“
Santa Apne Bete Pappu Se Bola
Santa: “Agar Apni Girlfriend Se Pehli Mulakat Mein Agar Tukko Su-Su Jana Ho To Kya Kahega?”
Pappu: “Daddy Bolunga Ke Ek Special Dost Se Haath Milane Ja Raha Hu, Jisse Teri Mulakaat Bahut Hi Jaldi Karwanunga Aur Tu Us Se Milkar Bahut Khush Hogi“
Jab Santa Fauj Mein Thha To Usko Shart Laganey Ki Aadat Thi Aur Sabhi Us Se Pareshan Theh.
Ek Din Vo Major Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola
Santa: “Sir Ye Meri Aakhri Shart Hai, Aur Vo Mein Aapke Sath Lagana Chahta Hun.”
Major Khushi Khusi Raaji Ho Gaya, Aur Bola: “Bolo Kya Shart Hai?”
Santa: “Apko Bawaseer Hai”
Major: “Main Sharat Lagata Hun Ke Nahi Hai”
Santa: “Main Ungli Dal Ke Check Karunga”
Major Khush Ho Gaya Aur Dono Mein 5 Hazar Ki Shart Lag Gai.
Santa Ne Major Ki Gaand Mein Ungli Dal Di
Tabhi Bahar Se Jor Jor Se Rone Ki Awaje Aane Lagi
Major Pant Pehan Kar Bahar Gaya Aur Poocha: “Kya Hua?”
Staff: “Isne Humse 50,000 Ki Shart Lagayi Thi Ki Major Ki Gaand Me Ungli Daal Ke Dikhaunga!“
Class Mein Teacher Bachho Se Puchti Hai
Teacher: “Aisa Konsa Kam Hai To 5 Ladke To Ek Saath Kar Sakte Hai Par 5 Ladkiya Kabhi Nahi Kar Sakti”
Kisi Ko Jawab Na Aya, Tabi Achanak Bachho Ke Bich Mein Se Ek Chota Sa Haath Khada Hua, Ye Haath Tha Santa Ke Bete Pappu Ka
Pappu: “Madam Ji Main Batau”
Madam: “Batao?”
Pappu: “Madam Ji, Vo Kam Hai – Ek Hi Balti Mein Mutar Visarjan“
Bar Girl Dancing, Public Claping
.
She Removes Her Top, More Claps
.
Removes Her Skirt, Louder Claps
.
Removes Her Bra N Panty, Total Silence ????
.
Moral : You Cant Clap With 1 Hand (Kyunki Ek Hath Se Kabhi Tali Nahi Bajti)
Jaisi Ki Kal Pappu Ne Teacher Ke Question Ka Answer Diya, Jo Kaam 5 Ladke Kar Sakte Hai Vo 5 Ladkiya Nahi Kar Sakti
To Class Mein Bethi Ladkiyo Mein Hadkamp Machh Gaya
Ek Ladki Uth Ke Madam Se Boli
Ladki: “Mam Pappu Ne Sahi Kaha, Par Baki To Hum Ladkiya Sab Kuchh Kar Sakti Hai”
Pappu Fatafatt Bola: “Hum Ladke Mutra Visrjan Ke Saath Saath Samne Vali Diwar Per “O” (Zero) Ya Koi Bhi Letter Likh Sakte Hai, Kya Tum Esa Kar Sakti Ho“
Hello, Haramzade,
Yeh Bata Kaun Haramkhor Paper Set Karta Hai? Kamino, Students Ki Jaan Nikal Jati Hai.
Upar Se Kutte Paper Checking To Aise Karte Hai Jaise Apni Behan Ke Rape Ka Badla Le Rahe Ho.
Aisa Sylbus Banaya Hai Jaise Tumhare Yaha To Haramkhor Sab Topper Hi Janme Hai.
Tera Baap Bhi Aise Paper Mein Pass Nahi Ho Sakta.
Tu Khud Is Paper Mein 10 Bar Fail Hua Hoga. Tu Kabhi Bahar Mil Sale Maa Chod Dunga Teri
Your Faithfully,
(Pagal Hu Jo Apna Naam Likhunga, Chal Apni Maa Chuda)
Next Day Santa Ki Biwi Use Fir Reservation Karvane Jabardasti Bhejti Hai, Kyunki Vo Bus Mein Suffer Nahi Kar Sakti Thhi.
Santa Bechara Majboor Hota Hai, Par Aaj Vo Jent Clerk Ke Pass Jata Hai.
Clerk: “Aapka Shubh Naam?”
Santa: “Ji Santa”
Clerk: “Age?”
Santa: “22”
Clerk: “Sex?”
Santa : “Hafte Mein 3 Baar”
Clerk Gabra Ke: “Nahi Nahi, Mera Matlab Male Ya Female?”
Santa: “Ji, Jo Bhi Fass Jaye, Kabhi Kabhi To Gali Ki Kutti Se Bhi“
Class Mein Teacher Bachho Se Puchti Hai
Teacher: “Agar Sincerely Ki Jaye To Is Duniya Mein Sabse Mushkil Job Kiski Hai?”
Pappu: “Madam Ji, Blue Film Ke Cameraman Ki“
Ek Baar Ek Budha Aadmi Teji Se Chalta Hua Market Mein Se Ja Raha Tha
Uski Zip Khuli Hui Thhi Aur Ye Uska Pata Nahi Thha
Ek Ladki Ne Bola: “Uncle Aapnki Zip Khuli Hai”
Budhe Ne Niche Dekha Aur Bola: “Chinta Na Karo, Mare Panchhi Uda Nahi Karte“
Santa Aur Uska Beta Pappu Dono Ne Socha Ki Aaj Kisi Ka
Chutiya Kaat Te Hai Pappu Ne Phone Se Ek Number Milaya Aur Pucha:
“Kahan Ka Number Hai?” Jawab Aya: “Police Station
Ka.” Pappu: “Ap Ke Paas
Danda Hai?”
Inspector: “Haan Hai!” Pappu:
“To Use Apni Gaand Mein Dal
Lo” Aur Itna Kah Ke Phone Kaat Deta Hai
Inspector Ne Thodi Der Socha Aur Fir Gusse Se Us Number Pe Phone
Kiya Inspector: “Yaha Se Ek Phone Phone Aaya
Tha.” Santa:
“Fir?” Inspector:
“Mujh Se Puchha Aap Ke Pass Danda Hai. Maine Haan
Kaha To Usne Bola Gand Me Daal Lo.” Santa:
“Achha? Kitni Der Pehle Phone Aya
Thha?” Inspector: “Koi 10
Minutes Pahle” Santa: “To Fir Ab Nikaal
Lo“
Ek Taxi Driver Ne Teen Logo Ko Taxi Mein Bithaya Jisme 1 Ladka, 1 Ladki Aur 1 Hizda Tha.
Pahle Ladki Utari, Kiraya Dete Samay Driver Ne Ladki Ko 2 Rupaye Vapis Kar Diye
Ladki: “Mujhse 2 Rupaye Kam Kyun Liye?”
Driver: “Teri Gori Pyari Chut (Vagina), Uspe 2 Rupaye Ki Choot (Discount).”
Driver Ne Ladke Se 2 Rupaye Jyada Liye.
Ladka: “Oye, Mujhse 2 Rupaye Jyada Kyon Le Raha Hai?”
Driver: “Tera Kala Mota Lund, Uspar 2 Rupaye Ka Dand (Fine).”
Ab Hizda Ye Sab Sunkar Bina Paisi Diye Hi Bhagne Laga.
Driver: “Ruk Bhonshdi Ke Kiraya To Deta Ja.”
Hizda: “Na Mere Pas Chut Hai Na Hai Lund, Isliye Main Hun Free Fund.“
Ek Din Beti Apne Baap Se Boli
Beti: “Daddy, Main Maa Banne Wali Hu”
Baap: “Besaram, Kya Keh Rahi Hai Tu?”
Beti: “Aap Ne Hi To Kaha Tha Jab Tak Me Kuch Ban Nahi Jati, Aap ‘Activa’ Nahi Dilaoge.“
Ladka Ladki Akele Bethe Pyar Bhari Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe
Ladki Ne Bade Pyar Se Ladke Ko Kaha
Ladki: “Mujhe Na Aapke Chutkule (Jokes) Bade Achhe Lagte Hai.”
Ladka: “Haan Janu Mujhe Bhi Tumhari Chut Aur Kulhe Bade Pasand Hai“
Bipasha Aur John Ki Shadi Ke Baad Unhe Kala Bachcha Paida Hota Hai
John: “Main Bhi Gora Tu Bhi Gori Fir Bachha Kyu Kala?”
Bipasha: “Main Bhi Hot Tu Bhi Hot To Garmi Se Bachcha Jal Gaya Na“
Santa Pahli Baar Train Mein Reservation Karaane Ke Liye Gayaa
Santa Ne Reservation Form Me “Ling/Sex” Wale Column Me Likh Diya “8 Inch” Aur Form Submit Kar Diya.
Booking Window Par Clerk Lady Thi, Usne Ye Dekha Aur Boli
Lady Cleark: “Sir Ye Kya Hai, Isko Kaato, Ye Nahi Chalega”
Santa Hairani Se: “Kitna Kaat Doon?”
Lady Cleark: “Poora Hi Kaatna Padega”
Santa Ke Tote Udd Gaye: “Madam Ji Aap Reservation Cancel Hi Kar Do, Main Bus Se Hi Chala Jaaunga.“
Next Day Santa Ki Choti Beti Ne Santa Se Kaha: “Papa, Main Ma Ban Ne Wali Hu”
Santa Aag Baboola Ho Gaya Aur Gusse Se Bola: “Sali Kutti, Kahan Chudva Ke Aayi Ho, Kon Hai Vo Bhen Ka Loda, Tune To Pure Khandan Ki Ma Chudva Di.”
Ladki Fatafatt Boli: “Papa Pahle Puri Baat To Suno Lo, Main School Ke Natak Main Maa Ban Ne Wali Hu.“
Ak Baar Lift Mein Ak Aadmi Ka Haath Galti Se Ak Aurat Ke Boobs Par Lag Gaya.
Admi: “Agar Aap Ka Dil Aapke Boobs Ki Tarah Nazuk Hai To Aap Mujhe Maaf Kar Dena”
Aurat: “Agar Aap Ka Lund Aapke Haath Jitna Kadak Hai, To Mei Room No.202 Mein Thahri Hui Hoon.“
Santa Ko Apne Achhe Kam Ki Vajah Se Company Mein Pramotion Mili Aur Vo Manager Ban Gaya.
Usne Apni Patni Ko Ye Good News Is Tarike Se Sunayi
Santa: “Darling, Sunti Ho Aaj Raat Ko Tum Company Ke Manager Ke Saath Soyegi”
Biwi Khushi Ke Mare Uchhal Padi Aur Boli
Biwi: “Sachiiiii, Ye To Batao, Sharma Sir Ke Saath Ya Patel Sir Ke Saath“
Dosto Naya Saal Shuru Ho Gaya Hai.
Aur Is Naye Sal Ki Shuruat Hum Baba Saxidas Ke Updesh Se Karte Hai
Baba Saxidas Ka Kahna Hai Ki Girlfriend Chahe Jitni Bhi Chalu Kyu Na Ho Us Se Kabhi Relation Khatm Na Karo
Kyunki Paani Jitna Bhi Ganda Ho, Par Aag Bujane Ke Kaam To Aata Hi Hai
Ek Lady Market Jaane Ke Liye Ek Rikshaw Karti Hai
Rikshaw Thodi Door Jaata Hai Ki Ek Khadde Ki Vajah Se Rikshaw Ko Jatka Lagta Hai Aur Lady Bahar Girr Jaati Hai
Aur Uski Saadee Ulat Jaati Hai Aur Wo Nangi Ho Jaatee Hai Lekin Wo Turant Khadi Ho Jaatii Hai Aur Rikshaw Wale Ko Bolti Hai
Lady: “Dekhi Meri Furti”
Rikshaw Wala: “Haan Mam Saab Maine Hi Nahii Saare Bazaar Ne Dekhi Aapki Furti, Lekin Aap Ke Yahaan Ise Furti Kahte Honge, Hamaare Yahaan To Ise Fuddi (Choot) Kahte Hain.“
Kele Wala Gali Mein Kele Bech Raha Tha
Kelewala: “Kele Lelo Gaand Fadu Kele Lelo”
Lady: “Oye, Ye Kaisi Kele Hai, Pahle To Kabhi Nahi Sune? Kitne Ka Hai?”
Kelewala: “250 Rs Ka Ek”
Lady Hairan Hoke: “Kyaaa????”
Kelewala: “Dekha Fatt Gayi Na Gaand“
Punjabi Banda USA Mein Rahta Tha Aur Vaha Usne Ek Tota Khairda Hua Thha.
Tota Roj Subha Utth Ke Bolta Tha: “Wake Up Sir, You Have To Go To Work”
Bandey Ko Kisi Vajah Se Punjab Mein Vapis Aana Pada, Aur Vo Tote Ko Bhi Apne Sath Le Aya
Ab Uska Tota Ye Bolta Hai
Tota: “Utth Oye Fuddi Deya, Aaj Bund Marwan Nahi Jana” (In Hindi: “Uth Sale Gaandu, Aaj Tune Gand Marwane Nahi Jana“)
Teacher Class Mein: “Dhobi Ka Kutta Na Ghar Ka Na Ghat Ka, Ab Esa Ek Aur Sentence Banao”
Pappu: “Madam Ji, Sania Mirza Ka Bachha Na India Ka Na Pakistan Ka“
6th Class Ko Pada Rahi Teacher Bachho Ko Boli: “Shor Mat Machao Nahi To Nikal Kar Bahar Khada Kar Dungi.”
Sabhi Bachhe Zor Zor Se Chillane Lage: “Pahle Mera, Pahle Mera“
