Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.
drawing money from ATM
love with a nurse
Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
Repairing door bell
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
I have swallowed a kay
Santa: I have swallowed a kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
Titanic was sinking
Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
As days go by, my feelings get stronger,
To be in ur arms, I can't wait any longer.
Look into my eyes & u'll see that it's true,
Day & Night my thought r of U..
Khushi se dil ko aabad karna...
Aur gham ko dil se azad karna,
Hamari bus itni gujarish hai ke hame bhi
Din me ek baar YAAD karna...
Luv meanz to see someone with closed eyez,
to miss some1 in crowd,
2 find some1 in every thought,
to live 4 some1, luv some1, but sure tht sum1 is ONLY one!
Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. If we could decide who to love, then, life would be much simpler, but then less magical.
24hrs make a lovely day,
7 days make a lovely week,
52 weeks make a lovely year & knowing a
person like me will make ur life lovely.
Have a lovely day n life!**
Don't wait until it's too late to tell someone how much you love, how much you care. Because when they're gone, no matter how loud you shout and cry, they won't hear you anymore.
My eyes are hurting coz I can’t see u, my arms r empty coz I can’t hold u, my lips are cold coz I can’t kiss u & my heart is breaking coz I’m not with u.
I always knew that looking back on my tears would someday make me laugh, but I never knew that looking back on my laughter would someday make me cry. Miss you.
There's no Special reason for this msg, I just wanna steal a single moment out of ur busy life & hope I can make u smile n say: I Miss U.
Knowing a person like u, has made me happy in a million ways and if ever I have to let u go... I would find a million reasons to make u stay. I miss you.
Sometimes I forget 2 say hi, sometimes I forget 2 reply, sometimes my msg doesn’t reach u, but it doesn't mean I forget u. I'm just giving u time to Miss me.
Sometimes I forget 2 say hi, sometimes I forget 2 reply, sometimes my msg doesn’t reach u, but it doesn't mean I forget u. I'm just giving u time to Miss me.
What makes some people dearer is not just the happiness that we feel when we meet them but the emptiness we feel when they are not around us. I Miss U!
Never luk for a Gud Face, it'll turn old one day; Never luk for a Gud Skin, it'll wrinkle one day; But luk for a loyal heart, that'll miss u every day.
I am in casualty now, don't say I didn't tell you. After 5 minutes, I will be transfered to ICU. Doctor told, I will die if I don't STOP.. Missing You
Big Money
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He says,"What are you doing?" She answers, "I`m moving to Las Vegas. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free!" Later that night on her way out the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he`s going, he replies... "I`m going to Vegas too. I want to see you live on $800 a year!"
Who was that???
Burford comes home from work and his wife is in the kitchen on all fours, wearing nothing but her bathrobe, scrubbing the kitchen floor. He comes up behind her, lifts up her robe, fucks her fast and hard doggie-style, and then smacks her in the head. "She screams, "Burford! I let you do something so nice like that! What`d you hit me for?" He says, "For not looking to see who it was!"
Sex Mainiac
Old farmer comes running across field screaming. Farmers wife was at kitchen window wondering what the hell was going on. He rushes in house and says "Susan get in bed, I got a hard on" She slowly gets undressed and gets in bed. He looses the hard on. He gives her a lecture "next time I come screaming you should be in ready in bed!" Two months later here he comes screaming across field. She sighs and gets in bed. He rushes in and says "Susan, you damn sex maniac, get out of bed---the barns on fire"
Honeymoon Night
A young couple was married, and celebrated their first night together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long. Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom. When she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all of him well. Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared, and she asked shyly, "What's THAT?", pointing to a small part of his anatomy. He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night." And she, in amazement asked, "Is that all we have left?"
Happy Couple
A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face. The best man says, "Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up - you look so excited." The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me." The bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face. The maid of honor notices this and says, "Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up, you look so excited." The bride replies, "I have just given the last blow job of my entire life!"
Birds and Bees
“Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewellry, my dear. Jewellry.”
taste your own medicine
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"
If one night a big fat man jumps in at your window grabs you and puts you in a sack don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for CHRISTMAS.
From Home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other.
Lets welcome the year which is fresh and new,Lets cherish each moment it beholds, Lets celebrate this blissful New year. Merry X-mas.
Don't expect too much of Christmas Day. You can't crowd into it any arrears of unselfishness and kindliness that may have accrued during the past twelve months.
Bless us Lord, this Christmas, with quietness of mind; Teach us to be patient and always to be kind.
Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.
There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions.
Joy resounds in the hearts of those who believe in the miracle of Christmas!
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and love of the season! Season's Greetings!
Somehow, not only for Christmas, But all the long year through, The joy that you give to others, Is the joy that comes back to you. And the more you spend in blessing, The poor and lonely and sad, The more of your heart's possessing, Returns to you glad.
Faith makes all things possible,Hope makes all things work,Love makes all things beautiful,May you have all the three for this Christmas.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Heap on the wood!-the wind is chill; But let it whistle as it will, We'll keep our Christmas merry still.
Have an ideal Christmas;
an occasion that is celebrated as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions.
If one night a big fat man jumps in at your window, grabs you and puts you in a sack don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for CHRISTMAS.HAPPY CHRISTMAS
Lets welcome the year which is fresh
Lets welcome the year which is fresh and new,Lets cherish each moment it beholds, Lets celebrate this blissful New year. Merry X-mas
Ur friendship is a glowing ember through the yr n each december frm its warm n livin spark v kindle flame against da dark n with its shining radiance light our tree of faith on Christmas night.
